coaching:
Posted by Amy Hale on November 28, 2011 at 7:10 am
Written by Steve Chandler
Professional people fall into two categories. There are doers and there are feelers.
Doers do what needs to be done to reach a goal that they themselves have set. They come to work having planned out what needs to be done.
Feelers, on the other hand, do what they feel like doing. Feelers take their emotional temperature throughout the day, checking in on themselves, figuring out what they feel like doing right now. Their lives, their outcomes, their financial security are all dictated by the fluctuation of their feelings. Their feelings will change constantly, of course, so it’s hard for a Feeler to follow anything through to a successful conclusion. Feelings are changed by many things……..biorhythms, gastric upset, too strong a cup of coffee, an annoying call from home, a rude waitress at lunch, a cold, a bit of constipation. Those are the dictating forces, the commanders, of a Feeler’s life.
A Doer already knows in advance how much time will be spent on the phone, how much in the field, what clients will be cultivated today, what relationships will be strengthened, what communications need to be made. A Doer uses a three-step system to guaranteed success: 1) They figure out what they want to achieve. 2) They figure out what needs to be done to achieve it. And, 3) They just do it. This is not a theory, this is the actual measured and observed system used by all super achievers without fail.
Whether you are a Doer or a Feeler has nothing to do with your character or personality. It has everything to do with choice. Choice is the key to it. You can choose either one, at any time, in any situation. So today, as you are challenged by situations, be sure to ask yourself, “What can I do about this?” instead of “How do I feel about this?” You’ll be very pleased with the day you have.
Nice job Steve Chandler. I highly recommend Steve’s work and he has written several books that you can find on Amazon.com. Just type in his name and there’s a nice list of them. He also has built a wonderful club called Club Fearless which can be found at http://www.clubfearless.net
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Posted by Amy Hale on April 28, 2010 at 5:42 am
The great myth out there in the world is that people never change. That myth is even the culprit behind people treating people badly: they think the person they are talking to is the same person they have always known and they treat them accordingly. Without giving them half a chance.
One of the many benefits I have of coaching people for a living is seeing them transform. Watching them change so dramatically. Many of them learning to use more of their right brains.
“In fact,” writes Colin Wilson, “we can learn to live on a far, far higher level of power. And that is what the right brain was intended for. Its farsightedness gives it the ability to summon power. Yet it hardly makes use of this ability. It could be compared to a man who possesses a magic machine that will create gold coins; so that he could, if he wanted, pay off the national debt and abolish poverty. But he is so lazy and stupid that he never bothers to make more than a couple of coins every day-just enough to see him through until the evening…or perhaps he is not lazy: only afraid of emptying the machine. If so, the fear is unnecessary. It is magical, and cannot be emptied.”
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Posted by Amy Hale on April 19, 2010 at 6:00 am
“Infatuation is when you think he’s as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, and as athletic as Jimmy Connors. Love is when you realise that he’s as sexy as Woody Allen, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford – but you’ll take him anyway.”
-Judith Viorst
People are continually being told to “do what they love and love what they do” in order to be successful. However, even with the multitude of books and audios on the market, many people still find themselves wondering what they love to do and inevitable wind up as desperate and unhappy in pursuit of doing what they love as much so as they are in the pursuit of who they love!
Are you in love with your visions of prosperity and abundance, or is it just infatuation? Here’s the simple test -
If it hurts, it isn’t love.
This Week’s Experiment:
(Based on Dr. John F. DeMartini’s book, Count Your Blessings: The Healing Power of Gratitude and Love)
Write down your vision of prosperity and abundance.
Imagine that vision is now a reality. List ten reasons or ways your abundant life is wonderful.
Now list ten problems or challenges that will still be in your life even when your vision is your reality.
Review the ten reasons or ways that your new life will be wonderful. Circle the one you believe you lack most now.
List at least three times when you have already experienced aspect you think you lack.
Finally, review the ten aspects of your vision you don’t yet like. Circle one aspect you think you could either accept or change.
May you fall in love with your life!
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Posted by Amy Hale on April 12, 2010 at 5:58 am
Recently I took on a new client who is clearly a genius. Unfortunately, he refused to take an IQ test just in case he turned out not to be an “official” genius.
For years, I refused to read any books about relationships or do any exercises on building awareness because I feared that deep down, my relationship might be doomed. (For the record, 6 years and still going strong at this time of writing!)
In both cases the fear is clouding our perceptions. The reality is that until we are honest with ourselves, we are living a lie!
This Week’s Experiment:
Get a notebook to write in. (Don’t use your journal, if you have one. You’re going to destroy the pages)
Now, write for at least 5 minutes what you really think about the following topics:
a. Your partner
b. Money
c. Sex
d. The Government
e. The opposite sex
Be sure to write the stuff you would never say because it’s too rude, naughty, freaky, or just plain terrifying!
Decide whether you are going to burn, shred, or keep your work!
Please share your comments below.
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Posted by Amy Hale on April 5, 2010 at 6:00 am
Rarely do people walk down a simple, straight path to our goals. To help myself keep to the straight and easy, I’ve been using a version the G.R.I.N. model. This model helps overcome procrastination and keeps my feet moving along the detours to my vision.
G is for Goal - What do you want? Stop. What do you REALLY want? What would be even better than that? Imagine that you’ve already got it – what are you seeing, hearing, and feeling? Bring as many senses into it as you can.
R is for Reality – Where are you in relation to your goal? What resources do you have? Who can you ask for help? What have you accomplished or tried so far? What have the results been?
I.N. is for Identify Next Steps – What’s the very next action you can take NOW (not next week or next month). What can you do NOW to bridge the gap from where you are to where you want to be?
A nice thing about the G.R.I.N. method is that you can drive your success with any goal and at anytime. Your state of mind doesn’t matter, nor do your circumstances. Why is this?
a. You can always have a goal
b. There will always be a current reality
c. There is always a next step
This Week’s Experiment:
Pick 3 goals and run them through the G.R.I.N model then ask yourself:
- What do I want?
- Where am I in relation to that?
- What’s the very next action(s) I can take NOW in the direction of my goal?
Take those actions, notice what results you’re producing, and keep shaping your success.
Let us know how you do.
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Posted by Amy Hale on April 2, 2010 at 5:57 am
I wake up each morning and exercise my body. I also exercise my mind with inspirational reading. These come from clippings and pieces that I have save over the years. They are very special to me and remind me how lively life is meant to be. It’s called life fro a reason, right? They don’t call it “trying to get through the day without becoming enraged or depressed.”
I believe we’re all born to be happy and great at whatever we choose to do. However, as we grow older, we add stories and negative beliefs and it sets us down a different path. Fortunately there is help to get us back on track. I do hope that you, the reader, are being helped by reading my messages, as I truly want to keep you on track.
This is the reading I pulled up today:
“Not a single person is born in the world who has not a certain capacity which will make him proud, who is not pregnant with something to produce, to give birth to something new and beautiful, to make the existence richer. There is not a single person who has come into the world empty.” — OSHO
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Posted by Amy Hale on March 19, 2010 at 2:01 pm
If you’re on the right path, you’ll get to where you want to go. Consistent commitment keeps you on the path.
The hardest thing for people to unlearn is the short attention span that’s been shaped by television, entertainment, letting the kids rule the roost, and by letting pernicious, untrue self-victimizing thoughts snuggle up into our belief systems. And this inability to be flowingly calm and ‘real’ is really just the inability to return the mind to the most important thing it can be thinking about in the present moment. It leads to a lot of much unfinished business. The unfinished business then leads to drama. The drama leads to self-dramatization including wild stories about how other people make us unhappy or destroy our dreams. This self-dramatization replaces the committed life.
As Steven Pressfield writes in, “The War of Art,” “Sometimes entire families participate unconsciously in a culture of self-dramatization. The kids fuel the tanks, the grown-ups arm the phasers, the whole starship lurches from one spine-tingling episode to another. And the crew knows how to keep it going. If the level of drama drops below a certain threshold, someone jumps in to amp it up. Dad gets drunk, Mom gets sick, Jenny shows up for church with a tattoo. It’s more fun than a movie. And it works: nobody gets a darn thing done.”
Please share your thoughts & converse with me.
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Posted by Amy Hale on December 1, 2009 at 2:59 pm
As we’ve crept closer and closer to 2009, I have been asked the ultimate question for my business and personal life, “What does success mean to you?” In the past month, I have heard, seen and participated in more contemplation than previous years. Hmmm, going through the
se challenging times – has it helped us become more thankful for what we have?
When asked what success is to me, I usually sum it up as “getting up in the morning and looking forward to the day.” It’s absolutely fantastic to feel the energy every morning knowing that I can conquer challenges, fulfill another goal and help other people feel more confident win life and business.
But it doesn’t really stop there. I love being able to spend quality time with my family and friends, go places whenever I want to and choose the projects I want to work on. That’s real wealth.
In business, the biggest success for me is to be able to choose which clients to work with. I realize I cannot help everyone and being able to choose allows me to help people even better. It’s incredibly rewarding when I read and hear the triumphs of people who came to me to help them overcome a challenge or move past an obstacle. I love hearing their reports on how much happier and free they feel.
My work gives me a sense of achievement and when a client tells me of their success, I feel successful, too. It feels so good to be able to help others succeed, that I just couldn’t not do it.
What does it take to succeed in life? It takes prioritization. I prioritize each day what it is I want to accomplish, as well as, help other to accomplish – whether it’s family, friends, or clients. I have found my own road, now make sure you make “real” success a priority for you.
Asking yourself, “what does success mean to you?” is a great place to start. I’d love to hear what success means to you.
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Posted by Amy Hale on November 11, 2009 at 1:19 pm
This week has been a whirlwind for a client of mine – a good one. Historically, this person has been so
meone who reacts to events in her life instead of taking ownership for her situations and creating solutions. However, she has recently discovered something completely different. Over-responding is much more desirable, healthy and emotionally profitable than over-reacting.
Last week, her landlord sold the building she had been renting in since the inception of her business and gave her 30 days to move. Even though that event was a huge shock, she decided not to over-react but over-respond. I reminded her that she is an entrepreneur who knows what she wants and goes for it. In fact, this past week when we set our minds to moving her into a new space, everything fell into place quite effortlessly. We expected to have to wait for movers to move her, however, when she called them, they said the only time they had available in the next few weeks was Saturday (four days after her call to them.) It seemed like magic.
The best part is before she even moved in, she was meeting new people and finding joint ventures with her office neighbors – something she was still challenged with at her previous space.
I truly believe in over-responding. As my good, late friend Thomas Leonard would say, “Anytime something big happens, whether it’s good or bad, do something bigger and you’ll continue to reach success.”
This week has been a whirlwind for a client of mine – a good one. Historically, this person has been someone who reacts to events in her life instead of taking ownership for her situations and creating solutions. However, she has recently discovered something completely different. Over-responding is much more desirable, healthy and emotionally profitable than over-reacting.
Last week, her landlord sold the building she had been renting in since the inception of her business and gave her 30 days to move. Even though that event was a huge shock, she decided not to over-react but over-respond. I reminded her that she is an entrepreneur who knows what she wants and goes for it. In fact, this past week when we set our minds to moving her into a new space, everything fell into place quite effortlessly. We expected to have to wait for movers to move her, however, when she called them, they said the only time they had available in the next few weeks was Saturday (four days after her call to them.) It seemed like magic.
The best part is before she even moved in, she was meeting new people and finding joint ventures with her office neighbors – something she was still challenged with at her previous space.
I truly believe in over-responding. As my good, late friend Thomas Leonard would say, “Anytime something big happens, whether it’s good or bad, do something bigger and you’ll continue to reach success.”
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Posted by Amy Hale on October 3, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Are you doing what you incarnated to do? Do you love how you spend your days, every day Monday thru Friday?
If you’re like thousands and more thousands of people, these questions may hit a sore spot or even seem ridiculous. ‘I can’t afford to ask myself things like that,’ one man said to me. ‘I’ve got a family to take care of and a mortgage to pay.
But just because it’s a difficult question doesn’t mean it’s not worth answering. And the question becomes more and more important as you get older.
Trying to ‘make yourself’ do what feels wrong to you is like walking in whatever direction you are facing and forcing the needle in your compass towards north. While it may work for a while, as soon as you let up the pressure for even a moment, the compass will begin to self-correct and you’ll find yourself in the wrong direction. You might be lost and don’t know how to come back to full reality and sanity. Uninspiring and treacherous stress comes from forcing yourself to do what you don’t want to do each day only leads to strain, tension and potential illness.
If you’ve spent a lifetime ignoring your feelings and quite literally ‘making the best of a bad job’, it may seem like it’s too late (or too scary) to do anything about it. But chances are that the changes you need to make are nowhere near as dramatic as you think. So don’t go quitting your job, selling your things and joining the convent. Even if big changes are called for, you don’t have to make them in a dramatic way.
Here are three simple changes, as described by Michael Neill – Super Coach, you can make that will make a major change in how you feel about your working life:
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1. Become self-employed while you’re still at your job.
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If you’ve begun saving money for your retirement, chances are you’ve done it by withholding money from your paycheck each month. A more effective strategy is to have all your money paid into a central ‘reservoir’ account. This can be a savings or even a home equity account. Then ‘deduct’ the money for your monthly expenses into a checking account.
Now instead of taking money away from yourself in order to save, you are having to take money away from yourself in order to spend. And for most people, when you see your reservoir of cash begin to grow, you will become less interested in spending and more interested in the freedom that comes with not being dependent on your job for your income.
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2. Get noticeably better at whatever it is you do.
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Extensive research into optimal experience at work shows that people who challenge themselves to continually improve at what they do not only increase their value in the marketplace, they enjoy their jobs considerably more than those who just do the minimum required to get by. While further training may or may not be a practical option for you, there are always ways to enhance your skills on the job.
One simple trick is to imagine you are training your replacement – if you had to teach someone to do what you do, how would you do it? In thinking about how to teach someone else to do your job, you will invariably find little improvements you can make that not only make you better, they make the job more enjoyable.
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3. Begin exploring new possibilities
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Many people fear that if they begin exploring other options, they will become more and more discontented and miserable about what they are currently doing. But only one of two things can really happen. Either you will find out that what you’re doing isn’t as bad as you thought when you compare it to what else is out there, in which case you’ll begin to appreciate and enjoy it more, or you’ll find out that there really is a job or career path that’s calling to you.
And if you are fortunate enough to find a job that’s also a calling, you will never have to work another day in your life!
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