Posted by Amy Hale on November 14, 2011 at 9:24 pm
Have you ever wondered, “how did I get here? Life certainly isn’t turning out like I thought it would.”
A couple of months ago, I was speaking with a group of people who had come together to learn more about creating a better working environment for themselves. Many people believe that they are stuck in employment situations in which they cannot flourish or move forward. One person spoke up regarding her weight as being a problem for her in moving forward with her career. She heard comments about her weight from people around her and she was finding it hard to stick with a process for losing the excess weight.
Since her weight had been confronted from hearing comments of other people, I asked “Do you really dislike yourself the way your are, or, are you more hurt by the comments of other people? Which of these drives your weight loss more?” The woman thought for a moment and then said, “I really just want to be accepted. I think that I’m losing out on opportunities because of my weight. I really just want people to like me for who I am.” As we went on, this person realized she was trying to lose weight to please other people and not herself. She knew she was intelligent and could do more, but she thought others just didn’t see her that way.
What we really had to get down to is who are you going to let create your life? This is something we all have to think about whether we want to boost our careers, be healthier, or prosper in a marriage. It’s hard for many of us to move past the idea that our environment controls who we are and what our future holds, when in reality, the control lies within us.
This week’s experiment:
If you have been experiencing your life as externally controlled, here are some exercises that can help you regain your internal creative edge:
1. Take a break in your daily schedule to settle in with who you really are. Write down what you like about yourself and your life and then write down a few things that aren’t feeling good because they are prompted by other people. Review these lists and look at why you like certain things and why you don’t like others. Is it because you get a feeling of gratitude from yourself or is it because you’ve created a mold that others put together for you?
2. Take all of the desires that aren’t really yours, but the ideas of other people, and meditate on whether or not you really want these things in your life. Do they make you happy or do they only make the people around you happy? Are they truly necessary in your life?
3. Make the choice whether to keep the attitudes and desires of other people in your beliefs.
4. When you decide to relinquish one of the things that truly is not good for you, imagine a chalk board in front of you and erase the unwanted ideas that you previously took on as yours.
5. Write on this chalk board what you would like to include in your thoughts and desires. What will your life be like? Will you be happier? Will you enjoy yourself alone and with others more?
Moving forward in our own thoughts and desires can often take us through places in which negative attitudes hide and want to remain strong. By thoughtfully and deliberately revisiting what we truly want for ourselves can help us along our journey and expose these hidden beliefs that aren’t doing us any good. Being true to ourselves, we become more spiritually enlightened and enjoy the presence of our own company in a different light.
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Posted by Amy Hale on October 31, 2011 at 7:22 am
Remember going to the carnival as a child? You were in such awe as you watched and maybe even participated in the spectacular shows and rides that were offered. The clowns and actors made spectacles of themselves to entertain you and the rest of the audience. If you had a sore toe or were feeling a little blue, having fun helped you refocus on something that made you feel good.
Letting your imagination take you to new places within yourself can also alter your perception and state of being. Even though the world seems like it’s becoming less stable and other people are struggling to pay their bills, you can evolve to a higher state by using your wonderful imagination.
When you are feeling down or negative, do you scold or even belittle yourself for having an attitude that feels bad? Have you ever thought about letting yourself have the negative without attaching yourself to them? Rather, let the come up, however, let them float away just the same. Instead of scolding yourself or judging the emotion as bad, could you just let it be for a moment?
When going through the feelings of sadness, anxiety, or resentment, people tend to forget to allow themselves to be human. Humans are emotional beings. When people stuff their emotions down or tell themselves that they are bad, they learn to distrust themselves and he value of of all of their emotions.
If you beat yourself up for having a negative emotion, this often activates a justification of unworthiness of better things. Our self-worth lowers as a result and guilt sets in for not being in control. It’s a big cycle. However, when you allow yourself to feel and metabolize your feelings and all self-forgiveness to take place, we see things in a different light plus we move from that space instead of resentment.
This week’s experiment:
Recognize your feelings for what they really are. Thoughts about people, events and things generate feelings. Do you best to acknowledge all of your feelings, including the ones that feel bad – like fear or sadness. Allow these feelings to be. Don’t judge them. Imagine them moving through your body and out your feet.
Then work at noticing how that affects your life. You’ll find that you’re more at peace, centered in the present moment, and your get more done with less effort.
Let me know your thoughts and how you do.
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Posted by Amy Hale on February 11, 2010 at 5:48 pm
I talk out loud when I drive. I don’t worry about what I look like or who might notice. I don’t care if they think I’m on the phone or not. When I talk in the car, I talk to my inner team or to a customer who I want to make sure gets what I am wanting to convey. I might even sing a tune.
I learned to do this when I recognized how much I beat myself up while driving. Have you ever looked around and noticed that most people who are driving, if they’re not on their cell phones, their faces appear worried or angry. Or maybe their listening to all of the bad things in the new on the radio.
How do you want to feel when you’re driving to your destination? Do you want to bully yourself, hear more about a crummy economy or would you rather engage in a conversation with your team to make it the best day you’ve ever had?
Personally, I find that using my driving time to build myself up instead of using ways that break down my mindset is far more useful to me. When you hold worries and anger inside your head, it brings on headaches, ulcers and more worry and anger. Your whole nervous system goes wild.
Plus, if you’re not use to hearing your own voice or you want to practice moving toward fearless public speaking, the car is the perfect place to speak out.
Just think, your competitors don’t do this. They’re listening to their negative self-talk, terrible news or swearing at traffic. So speak to your inner team and step out from the crowd and make success happen – one drive at a time.
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